Embarrassment: How to Overcome It

Embarrassment is a common experience that all humans share. It is likely that when someone asks about our most embarrassing moments, we can immediately recall a few incidents. However, embarrassment can also be incredibly distressing. In the midst of such situations, it can be challenging to acknowledge that embarrassment can actually serve as a means of connecting with others on a positive level. Thankfully, there are ways that can help us overcome embarrassment. 

What is embarrassment?

Embarrassment is a common emotion that arises when we feel shame or self-consciousness due to making mistakes or performing poorly while others are present. The level of embarrassment can differ and may increase depending on the size of the audience. Furthermore, the significance of the person involved can also impact the intensity of embarrassment. For example, the feeling of embarrassment from spilling coffee on oneself in front of a stranger is likely to be different compared to doing the same in front of one’s boss.

When experiencing embarrassment, one might encounter the following symptoms: 

• Increased heart rate
• Perspiration
• Persistent thoughts and overthinking
• Heightened self-awareness
• Difficulty in calming oneself
• Decreased self-esteem

Embarrassment evokes emotions such as shame, guilt, and fear. It is possible that if you are naturally shy, you may find yourself more susceptible to embarrassment due to your hesitance to overcome your shyness. In some cases, individuals may experience extreme embarrassment anxiety as part of a social anxiety disorder. The fear of embarrassing oneself can significantly restrict one’s willingness to engage in social interactions, potentially leading to negative consequences for their social well-being. Persistent difficulties in managing being embarrassed can result in various additional challenges, including anxiety disorders, depression, or low self-esteem.

There are several potential causes of embarrassment. Here are four examples: 

• Cognitive appraisal thoughts: Our beliefs can trigger an emotional response, such as considering tripping down the stairs embarrassing.
• Anticipation of negative events: Even before others notice our mistakes, we might anticipate being judged or facing the consequences of our actions.
• Regulation of social behavior: Embarrassment has historically served as a way to regulate behaviors, discouraging us from engaging in situations deemed unfavorable.
• Unwanted attention from others: Being in the spotlight and attracting attention, even without having done anything wrong, can be embarrassing and uncomfortable for those who are not accustomed to being the center of attention.

However, the scientific community has varying viewpoints on this topic. No single theory can explain all instances of embarrassment or fully account for this complex emotion. Moreover, what may be highly embarrassing to some individuals might not even register as noteworthy to others. Therefore, it is essential to learn how to move past situations we perceive as embarrassing and not dwell on them.

How to overcome embarrassment

Do not let the fear of embarrassment control your life. Instead, make an effort to deal with these feelings of shame in a healthy way. Acquiring the knowledge of how to prevent embarrassment from taking over will boost your confidence and enhance your ability to express yourself effectively. Though it may appear daunting at first, taking action is crucial. Embrace a growth mindset and be open to exploring new approaches. Start with small, achievable strategies to ease into the process.

Practice self-compassion. 

As human beings, we all make mistakes from time to time. If you find yourself in an embarrassing situation, showing self-compassion can aid in moving forward. Engaging in self-criticism and berating yourself for the error will only foster a negative mindset. To cultivate self-compassion, you can incorporate positive affirmations into your routine. Positive affirmations have the potential to boost self-confidence and contribute to overall well-being.

Confront the situation. 

When faced with embarrassment, your instinctual fight-or-flight response is triggered. However, acknowledging your mistakes and taking corrective action when possible can assist you in moving forward. Avoiding situations that evoke fear only heightens the likelihood of recurring embarrassment, shame, and anxiety.

Take deep breaths.

Deep breathing offers a multitude of advantages for mental well-being. If you catch yourself ruminating on an embarrassing incident, practicing deep breathing can alleviate the anxiety associated with that event. Additionally, deep breathing slows down the physical manifestations of fear, guilt, and shame. A helpful technique to concentrate on your breath is to count your inhalations and exhalations. Attempt to breathe in through your nose for a count of 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and then exhale for another 4 seconds. Repeat this pattern until you sense a calming effect taking place.

Have a laugh. 

During difficult times, incorporating humor can help regain a sense of control. Recognize that using humor as a coping mechanism is different from avoiding your emotions. Humor can effectively diminish the perceived threat of a challenging situation. Therefore, when you experience embarrassment, try lightening the mood by making a lighthearted joke and just having a laugh. It is not necessary to belittle yourself or deny your embarrassment to use humor. The aim is to shift your mindset and embrace a slightly less serious perspective.

Talk to a trusted person.

When faced with an embarrassing situation, reach out to someone you trust and feel comfortable with to have a heartfelt conversation. Allow yourself the space to genuinely listen to the advice and insights they may share. Engaging in such discussions can offer you a new viewpoint, revealing that your circumstances may not be as catastrophic as they initially appear. Moreover, these conversations provide an opportunity to find moments of humor, reflect on the lessons learned, and take positive steps forward.

Reminder

After going through an embarrassing moment, refrain from putting yourself down. Dismissing your emotions or underestimating your abilities is neither helpful nor productive. The good news is that we can learn to overcome embarrassment and move forward. Each person encounters and manages embarrassment in their own unique way, but we don’t have to face it alone. Seeking support from a trusted friend or family member can be comforting.

However, if your embarrassment leads to social anxiety or has a negative impact on your mental health, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional. They will provide guidance and help you develop personalized strategies that cater to your specific circumstances, ensuring that you feel comfortable and secure.

If you are considering talking to a therapist, visit Mindshift Psychological Services. You may check out their website to learn more about them. You may also contact them at (714) 584-9700 to schedule an appointment.